Someone to lean on
by LittleBooLost
Summary: Kacey does something that destroys the bond and friendship she has with Nikki. As a result, Nikki can't face her anymore and leaves Waterloo Road to re-join the army. Distraught, Kacey continues to box, but has no mentor. So she finds a way of coping. Over a year later Nikki returns, and realises that both she and Kacey are broken. That both she and Kacey need someone to lean on.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guyssss! I wanted to prove I can write something serious/dark/normal so I've started another fic! (I'm not abandoning Just Me, You, And Our Crazy Little World) If you like this I might get a couple more chapters up today because I'm a bit ill #yeyyyy Oh, and a shoutout to I-Wish-Upon-Falling-Stars who encouraged me to put this up! Check out some of her awesome stories – she's super talented and amazingly funny!**

*Nikki POV*

I woke up to the sound of buzzing, and rolled over sleepily. My head connected with the side of the dresser, and I swore angrily, sitting up. A glance to the other side of the tiny room rewarded me with the sight of an ancient TV, showing only static. I remembered that I'd fallen asleep watching TV last night, and rolling on top of the remote must have damaged the connection. _That's the consequences of staying in a motel, Nik…_

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and unlocked my phone to check the time. _Shit, 10:30! I'm going to miss my train! _I yanked my old sports top over my head and dropped it on the bed, heading into the en-suite. I realised too late the shower wasn't working properly, and had to wriggle into my jeans with my hair greasy and unwashed.

Ten minutes later I was handing my key card into reception. The young girl sitting there seemed to take pity on me – handing me her muesli bar with a sickly sweet smile. I took it from her and mimicked her expression – even though my insides were churning. _Little bitch. I'm not poor and homeless – I've been in the army for six of the last ten years! _I adjusted my massive rucksack on my shoulders and began to sprint down the road.

Once on the train I thought back to my first five years in the army. It had never actually been for me, I suppose. Being horribly squeamish and arachnophobic had made me a prime target. I cried myself to sleep every night at first, until Sergeant Price took pity on me. After training on my fifteenth day, she took me aside and told me to meet her in the shower block at dinner time.

At first I was afraid. I'd heard horror stories about what happened to weaklings in the shower block as I was queuing up for dinner, and I didn't want it to happen to me. I was only 21, horribly shy and even more gullible, it seemed. When I reached the shower block, Sergeant Price was leaning against the wall. "_Hey there. I'm Sergeant Lexy Price_." Even now I could still hear her soft, kind voice reverberating through my mind.

I shook my head unhappily, not wanting to remember any more. _It still hurts to remember you,_ _Lexy, even after all these years. I'll always remember what you did for me. I hope one day I can make you proud. But not yet. I'm so, so, sorry._ A tear ran down my cheek. Just the one. I didn't bother to brush it away. That would be like not caring.

Above me, a speaker crackled and announced that the next stop would be the last. I pulled my rucksack onto my lap, fiddled with the strap. Found a hairband on the seat next to me. Tied my hair up. Pulled my hair down. Snapped the band round my wrist. Then finally stood up and made my way over to the doors.

Back in Glasgow.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: A bit dark, hope this doesn't upset anyone. Hints at self-harm.**

*Christine POV*

I was swallowing the dregs of my coffee when there was a knock at the door. I choked down my mouthful and raised my voice. "Come in!" I looked briefly down at my paperwork as the handle twisted; silently praying it wasn't Simon _again. _The person that strode in, though, was the last person I was expecting.

"Morning, Christine."

Nikki spoke sullenly, refusing to make eye contact. I realised my mouth was hanging open and I quickly closed it, eager to avoid embarrassment. "Nikki?" Her appearance had changed a lot since I'd last seen her – just over a year ago, I reckoned. Her hair was longer, shoulders narrow and there was a red mark on her left temple.

"Sit down…d'you want a drink?" Nikki took a seat in front of me and shook her head. "Nah….'M alright. Thanks, though." I frowned. She'd never been this civil with me before. "Well….." I leaned forwards and gently pressed my fingers to her temple. "How about some ice for your head? Looks sore…"

To my surprise she nodded silently, her gaze dropping to the table. It clicked that I was still touching her face. Mortified, I tugged my hand away as though her body heat had burned me. She didn't seem to notice and I used the opportunity to slip outside.

"Sonya? Can you get me some ice from Maggie?" Sonya gave me a confused look and stumbled towards the door on her ridiculous leopard print heels. I shook my head behind her, amused. She was nothing like her older sister at all. The door slammed and I jumped, before swearing internally. _Get a hold on yourself, Christine…"_

*Nikki POV*

I left the school a couple of hours later, glad for my skills in persuasion. I was officially an English teacher again. I headed for my flat, pulling up the hood of my sweater. It was grey and still smelt of Lexy. I rubbed my nose and bit down on my lip, trying to stop the memories from overwhelming me. _She's gone, Nikki. Get over her. She never meant anything to you. She was just a distraction. Just a distraction… _I balled my hands into fists and stuffed them into my pockets, suddenly angry. All I wanted to do was hit someone, hit anything.

I rested my head against a wall, taking deep breaths. The anger didn't go away and tears prickled in my eyes. I only got more furious. I swung my bag off my shoulder and rifled through the pockets until I saw a glint of silver. _Perfect. _At least I still had my way of coping secret, safe and secure. I zipped it back up and fumbled as I pulled the straps over my shoulders. Then I channelled my frustration and began to sprint down the road.

20 minutes later I was back at my flat, which was pretty good considering I live half a mile from the school. I let myself in. Every surface was covered in a light layer of dust and I huffed slightly. I hate cleaning. Instead of producing a rag and getting to work, I kicked my trainers off at the door and made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me even though I was alone. I pulled my phone from my back pocket and tossed it onto the windowsill before unbuttoning my jeans and rummaging in my bag for the thing that had produced the glint of silver.

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_A solitary figure makes its way through the dark corridors. Everyone is gone. It is alone. It is not a he. It is not a she. It is a freak. It is unloved. It is abandoned. It needs help. It finds a door. Locked. It reaches into it's pocket and finds the damaged paper clip. It inserts the paper clip into the lock. The lock clicks. The door swings open. It might be a freak, but it is still a clever freak. It enters the room. It turns on the light. It heads for the filing cabinet, paper clip still in hand. It inserts the paper clip into the lock of the top drawer. It wriggles the clip. Eventually the drawer opens. It thumbs its way through the files. Through the A's. Halfway through the B's. Finally it finds what it is looking for. It takes out it's phone. It types out a text. It types out the number. It replaces the file. It locks the cabinet. It leaves. But it forgets to lock the door._

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*Nikki POV*

I climbed out of the shower, feeling sick and lethargic. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I felt weaker than I had done before. _Adrenalin rushes don't last forever, Nikki.. _I skidded on the tiling and grabbed the sink just in time, before I fell. I pulled my bag towards me and took out my towel. I began to rub myself dry, slowly, gently. I took my time – I didn't want to hurt myself any more than I had already.

I made my way into my bedroom and headed for the closet. It was stuffed with nearly all my clothes – despite the fact I'd been away from home for 15 months. In the army there is no need for possessions. No need for emotions. No need for any connection to the outside world. I picked out a pair of jogging bottoms and a plain oversize t-shirt. I raked my hands through my (finally) clean hair when I heard my phone vibrating in the bathroom.

I hurried back down the corridor, trying not to slip because I was barefoot – and then I snatched up my phone, peering at the screen. _One new message_. I opened the text, frowning slightly. The only texts I usually get are about my contract.

_Nikki, _the text read . _I need to speak to you. Meet me at the abandoned playground by the sea-front in twenty minutes. This is urgent. Tell nobody where you are going. Thank you._

My frown fell away and I sank to the floor, shivering violently._ What's going on?_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A bit short, sorry! I'm going to update Crazy Little World soon :D so do not despair ma loverlieesssxxx**

*Nikki POV*

I had barely five minutes to make a decision. I walked through the flat as I made an internal list of the pros and cons, running my fingertips over the plain walls. _On one hand it could be a student. Or it could be a rapist. _I collapsed on the sofa and buried my face in a cushion, groaning. One of those statements properly weighed out the other. I stood up, tugged on my hoodie, stuffed my feet back into my trainers and unlocked my phone, typing out a short, concise message. _I'm on my way._

It gets dark quickly in Glasgow. The skies were turning an inky blue as I pulled up outside the most run down chippy. I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie down over my hands and crossed the road, before slipping silently and discreetly round the corner.

The playground is surrounded almost entirely by hedges, but the sea-front is still visible. Most passer-bys don't notice it. It's a haunt not used by many. The only pieces of equipment there are swings, and I could see the faint outline of a slumped figure sitting on one. I walked closer, the sea breeze biting at my face.

"Kacey?"

I realised suddenly who it was. "Are you alright? What's going on?" I felt physically sick at the sight of her and wanted to turn and run forever, but I have a duty of care, so I chose my next (annoyingly bland) words carefully. "D'you want to talk?" Finally, she looked up. Her appearance hadn't changed much, but she seemed far older than the tiny, football-crazed kid I remembered.

I sat down on the swing next to her and she began to speak. "Look, Miss, I came here for one reason and one reason only. I just wanna apologise for what I did. I know it were dumb and the reason you left, right?" Even if she hadn't meant it to, her monologue ended with a question. I didn't know how to respond because she was completely right – her actions had been the reason I left - so I just stared at her. She stared back and for a moment the air was ablaze with tension.

Then Kacey tore her gaze away and stood up abruptly. "I should leave, it's getting late…Grantley's gonna be so pissed off…" She mumbled, zipping up her hoodie and turning away. I watched her retreating back for a moment, confused. Kacey was staying in the schoolhouse? What the…hell? I stood up and walked after her. "Kacey, tell me right now – are you absolutely sure you're okay?" I placed my hand on her shoulder and she flinched, dropping a cigarette lighter. I stooped quickly to snatch it up. "Guess what? You're meeting me in the PRU tomorrow at break. No excuses."

I moved to walk off, but Kacey grabbed my wrist. "Fine, then! Can I just have my lighter back? _Please!"_ I smirked and didn't reply. She shoved me away before sprinting out of the playground. My ankle twisted beneath me and I fell, swearing silently. I tucked the lighter into my pocket and began the trek back to my car.

It wasn't until I returned home, though, that I noticed the fine white dust coating my wrist…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello! I think I'm in a committed relationship with this Fic now...It haunts me every waking moment 0_o But no, seriously – I have come up with a pretty good plot and I'm so pleased with how I haven't written anything crude or silly or immature…anywho, introducing a character for the hardcore PeaceyFans:D**

*Nikki POV*

As soon as I got home my priority was to take off my hoodie, and carefully. The white, powdery substance on my sleeve looked pretty shady, and I was sure Kacey had gotten it on me. It all added up – she was having a hard time, she'd dropped a cigarette lighter and now it seemed she'd gotten a mysterious white powder all over my wrist.

I chewed hard on my lip as I searched my cupboards for a Tupperware container. In the end I had to make do with my plastic lunch box, and I carefully shook the white flakes from my sleeve into it. After closing the lid securely, I picked up my phone and typed the letters 'Sa' into my contacts.

The name I was looking for came up and I pressed it, holding my phone to my ear as it rang. I counted twelve rings before it went to voicemail and I sighed in irritation. 'Hi, it's me, Nikki. Give me a call as soon as possible – it's urgent. I'm on my way down to the station and I need to talk to you. Hope you're not busy.' I clicked off, running upstairs in search of a new jumper.

Less than five minutes later I was speeding down the road. I turned sharply round the corners and kept my foot firmly pressed on the gas pedal – Glasgow is _all _uphill. It was nearing half eight and I was the only one on the roads. There was a chill in the air that penetrated the windows and I shuddered, nearing the police station.

I was just about to climb out of my Mitsubishi Warrior when my phone beeped on the seat next to me. I snatched it up and opened the text. _You're fine, I'm not busy. Come in to my office, Ryder won't mind. Xxx _I tucked my phone back into my jeans pocket and reached over for my lunchbox. I headed in to the police station, walking past countless doors until I found the one I was looking for.

I stepped into the room and smiled when I saw my sister hunched over her desk. She was clearly writing as fast as possible, and I snuck up quietly behind her. _Schmahck. _I slapped my lunchbox against the back of her head in greeting and she sat up in shock.

"Shit! Nikki, you scared the life out of me!"

Sam stood up and I threw my arms around her, holding on as tightly as possible. She hugged me back, laughing into my shoulder. We stood like that for a good twenty seconds and I realised just how much I'd missed my big sister over the last year. Tears began to prick at my eyes and I squeezed them shut. I couldn't break down now – after all, I was here about a student.

"D'you want a cup of tea?" Sam's voice brought me back down to Earth and I looked up at her. "Nope, it's fine. I can't stay long, though. Work in the morning." "What? You've only just gotten back! You must be exhausted – I bet you haven't even bothered to clean your flat yet."

I laughed and nodded. "You're right! It is so skanky and dusty at the moment…ugh, I don't know if I ever will." I pretended to smack my lunchbox against my forehead in despair and it instantly caught Sam's eye. She reached forwards and snatched it from me. "What's this?" She unclipped the lid and peered at the contents. I sat back and began the story.

Sam's ability to keep eye-contact distresses me so much sometimes. She didn't look away from me once as I was speaking. It was only when I'd finished blathering on that she turned her attention back to the box. "Alright. I'll hand this over to Ryder. If the results come back positive, I'm going to have to have a chat with this Kacey girl…" She continued to study the box and I stood up.

"I've really gotta go now. Freaking schoolkids need my time and attention more than I do." Sam laughed and I made my back to my car, feeling one hundred times more relieved and happier than I had been in a very long time.

**A/N2: Read, review and tell me what you want to see in future chapters! Follow me on Twitter, LittleBooLost if you have an account and I'll follow back :D Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Finally think I've got my plot straightened out :') If I can work out how to, I'll put up a poll so I can work out exactly what route I should take – either way it should be successful! This is just a short filler chapter really, but it focuses mostly on Kacey.**

*Kacey POV*

I woke up late the next morning. Everyone else had left for school, and when I finally managed to surface from my duvet Maggie was sitting on my bed, stroking my hair and holding one of her famous smoothies. She held it out to me and I took it gratefully – my throat was completely raw from crying late into the early hours. I had a feeling she'd clocked this and from the corner of my eye I realised she was watching me suspiciously.

I pushed the covers back and began to wander around my bedroom, silently collecting my towel and my school clothes. All the while Maggie's eyes followed me. She hadn't yet said a word, and I cracked. "Why are you staring at me like I'm some kind of freak?!" The words burst forth from my mouth as I stamped my foot on the floor petulantly.

Maggie looked at me for a second before sighing in defeat and tucking her thick auburn hair behind her ear. "I'm worried about you, Kacey. Miss Boston gave me a ring last night shortly before you got in. She said she'd bumped into you and had a feeling something was troubling you. She thought maybe we could have a little talk?"

I regarded her, choosing my words carefully. "No, Maggie. I'm fine. I don't know why Miss Boston thinks there's something wrong with me – we all know _she's _the one with problems anyway!" I laughed cruelly and turned away, pulling the door open. Behind me I heard Maggie gasping sharply, but nothing more was said.

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Less than 20 minutes later I was leaving the schoolhouse. I zipped up my hoodie and stepped out into the light drizzle, briefly wondering if I should skive. _Nah, way too risky. Besides, Boston will know exactly where I'll be. _I berated myself as I walked. _I'm such a stupid freak. _I turned my eyes up to the heavens and a small smile played on my lips. For all I'd changed in the last 15 months, I still loved the rain and the way it felt when it pelted down on my face.

There was a chill to the air and I could taste the sea spray. I kept my shoulders hunched and kicked a mangled can of Monster Energy along the tarmac. Cars sped past me and I shoved my earbuds in, turning the volume up to the max. The wind whistled and screamed to the beat of _Evanescence, _creating a tornado around me.

_So go scream_

_Scream at me _

_I'm so far away_

_I won't be broken again_

_I've got to breathe_

_I can't keep _

_Going under…_

I gulped and tore at my earphones as I neared the school gates. For all I told myself nothing was helping – but no-one could know that. _To everybody I'm just a moody, unloved, abandoned freak. No one ever sticks around to look after me. Not mum. Not Barry. Not Dyn. Not even Zoe. Fuck. Them. All._ I swept my hand across my eyes once and pulled the door open, at the precise the moment the bell for break went off. Doors banged open and I was surrounded by a sudden crowd.

I shoved Darren Brown aside and ran for the stairs to science. They were empty and I was thankful that the A-Level exams were taking place today, of all days. Two flights up and I was outside the PRU. I put my hand on the door handle and was about to push down when an all too familiar feeling overtook me.

_Consider this carefully, Kacey – Fight or Flight?_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just felt like writing. Didn't know how this would turn out. Bit of Nikki/Christine, I guess, which I wasn't expecting….anyway, enjoy and review c:**

*Kacey POV*

I didn't get far. My heart pounded and I turned away from the door, eyes wide, gasping for breath. I collapsed against the wall and let my forehead rest against it. All I could hear was my ragged breathing. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists. My lungs burned and I was almost sure that death was imminent. My mouth tore itself open in a silent scream and the corridor disintegrated around me.

*Nikki POV*

I looked up from Stacie's book as the bell went. The legs of chairs screeched across the floor as my students leapt up, talking animatedly. They left and went down the stairs. I dropped my pen gratefully, glad for a moment of silence. I'd almost forgotten what teaching was like.

Most of my old PRU students had left last year and the few that remained had been mainstreamed shortly after my departure. The new lot had been just as rowdy as I remembered the other kids to be and I felt a sudden sense of loss. I had no idea what had become of Rhiannon, Scout or Bolton and I felt I had let them all down. Had Scout started teaching yet? Was Bolton okay in the army? Did Rhiannon ever find her true calling?

I saw flash of blond hair through the window and sat up straight. _Of course. Kacey. The meeting. _I watched as she reached for the door handle and suddenly froze. In shock? Horror? Terror? I had barely had a second to contemplate what was going on when she turned away abruptly.

I stood up and ran for the door, instantly alert. On opening it I saw her leaning against the wall, back turned, shoulders shaking. I wondered briefly for a second if she was crying, but then it clicked as she cried out in agony and fell to the floor.

In a second I was on my knees beside her, pushing her hair from her face and rolling her onto her side to face me. She was shaking spastically and her skin was pale, clammy to the touch. I recognised the symptoms .Kacey was clearly having a seizure. She needed medical attention, and fast. I heard heels clicking on the linoleum stairs. I turned to see who it was and yelled at the top of my lungs.

"_CHRISTINE! Come here! Please! Quickly!" _I barely noticed the tremor in my voice as her footsteps sped up. "Nikki?" She appeared at the top of the stairs and her eyes widened in horror when she saw Kacey's rigid form. "What's going on? Is she okay?" I let go of Kacey for a second and met her eyes silently.

"YOU STUPID COW! Of course she's not okay! She's having a _seizure! _Call an ambulance! Now!" Christine flinched as I screamed, before digging in her pocket for her phone. I watched as she dialled the number, but I turned my attention away as she began to speak, my gaze on Kacey.

I knew what was happening was my fault. I could have prevented everything. I should have prevented everything. I should have listened to her all those months ago. I shouldn't have run away. I only had myself to blame. I took Kacey's tiny, icy cold hand in mine. Her brow was furrowed in agony and her breathing became more laboured.

A sob ripped itself from deep in my gut. Tears filled my eyes and I was vaguely aware of Sue joining the scene, and then Simon. I barely noticed Christine talking quietly to them, or the pair of them turning and running to meet the ambulance.

After what seemed like hours Simon and Sue returned, paramedics in tow. I clung tightly to Kacey's hands, scared that if I let go she would stop breathing altogether. I heard Christine's soft voice in my ear. _"Nikki. Come on. You need to let go of Kacey. She'll be okay." _And then someone was taking Kacey's hands from mine, and Christine was wrapping her arms around my waist, pulling me gently from the scene and lifting me into her lap, stroking my hair and rubbing my back.

Somehow, she seemed to realise my heart was tearing itself in two.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Had some really bad writers' block for the past week, and had some trouble at school which stopped me from getting the writing bug, but I'm okay now:D I've altered the timeline slightly, I'm having Tom die exactly when they move to Scotland. enjoyyy!**

*Nikki POV*

About 45 minutes later I began to compose myself, pulling away from Christine's embrace and standing up, legs wobbly and breathing uneven. She regarded from the same spot the floor and I point blank refused to make eye contact. It was only when I caught a glimpse of the clock that I realised something wasn't quite right.

"Where are the PRU kids? They should have been back over 20 minutes ago!" I finally turned to face Christine, pacing up and down anxiously. She stood up in a fluid motion and grabbed hold of both my wrists tightly, forcing my eyes to stare deep into her own chartreuse coloured ones.

"Calm down. Simon and Sue have taken care of them – they've been mainstreamed temporarily for the rest of the day. You're clearly in no fit state to teach." Before I could argue, Christine was tugging me down the stairs and towards her office.

When we were in there she told me to take a seat, before going over to the coffee machine. It was clearly one of her multiple, exuberant additions to the room and I could see the benefits of having it there. She pivoted on her heel and walked back to me before pressing the styrofoam cup firmly into my palm. I raised it to my lips, inhaling the sweet scent of chocolate.

I looked at her, confused. She smiled in a wan, slightly embarrassed way. "I don't like coffee, so I filled it with chocolate powder instead." I nodded my understanding and took a small sip, trying to delay the inevitable.

It didn't work. As I lowered the cup to my lap, she began her interrogation fiercely. "Nikki, you're going to have to explain to me what happened out there. Why did you break down? It's your first day back – do you think you can handle this job?" My mind reeled as she began to spout questions one after the other and it took a while for me to gather my thoughts.

I hesitated, staring down at the cup in my hands. I didn't bother to buy any time by drinking the hot chocolate, and Christine seemed to realise she should have addressed the situation a little more sensitively. "Shit, Nikki….I'm sorry. Look, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere. At all. Ever. Honest." Her desperation to get her point across made me smile broadly and I bit down on lip, trying to swallow giggles that were forming in my throat. I prayed she wouldn't notice.

If she did, she hadn't made it obvious. I took a moment to compose myself for the second time that morning by taking a large gulp of hot chocolate. Then I met her eyes and began my personal account of the last 15 months.

"_My best friend in the army was a woman called Lexy Price. She was sergeant who was a few years older than me – about five or six – and she doted on me when I first joined. I was a pathetic excuse for a soldier, really. It took me a long time to adapt to the training, I was squeamish and scared of bugs so the other newbies picked on me. I couldn't stick up for myself and I cried myself to sleep every night. That changed about two weeks later, when Lexy was on a patrol. She noticed a few of the guys pushing me around and giving me grief, so she took me to one side and told me to meet her by the shower blocks instead of going to dinner._

_I had to follow her orders, of course – she was a fucking sergeant! If I didn't go there would have been hell to pay, but I did go. It turned out Lexy was a pretty good boxer, and she taught me how to box as well._ _I became fairly good at it too and I used it to my advantage. After a while the others stopped bullying me and I stopped crying at every little thing. After that, me and Lexy, we were a team._

_About five years later I was presented with the option to leave – I'd done my bit – and I took it. Lexy was furious. She saw it as betrayal and wouldn't speak to me for the three days up to when I left. I came to Greenock and got a job here. You know that part, obviously. You also know that when we moved here Tom died and then I left again. I just couldn't cope. Don't judge me. I know you've done enough of that already. _

_I spent the next 15 months back in the army. Lexy still wouldn't speak to me. It was 13 months after I re-joined that we got caught in a bomb attack that killed half our base. Lexy developed post-traumatic stress disorder and began to have seizures. She died a month before I left. That's why I broke down earlier, okay?"_

I didn't let Christine get a word in edgeways. I was getting a huge weight off my chest and to hear her reactions would have only made me cry again. I didn't look up until I'd finished my little monologue and when I did, I realised her eyes were full of tears and her expression was horrified. The room was filled with tension and silence for a full five minutes. It was broken only by the text-messaging tone on my mobile.

_Got the test results back. Postive. Ryder told me the little bugger is in hospital. On my way there now to talk to her. You should be present. Love you. Sam. xx_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Had this loitering around on my laptop for a few weeks because I had no idea what I was going to do with it…I might not update for a while, perhaps a fortnight because I've just found out my nan passed away yesterday after 3 years or so of severe dementia…I'm sorry this is short, I just don't have it in me to write at the moment, but I do have somewhere to take this.**

*Nikki POV*

I leapt to my feet.

"Gotta go. Someone needs to see me."

Behind me, Christine stood up. "Nikki! Wait! Is this about Kacey or-?" She stopped short as I turned round to face her. "Yes, Christine, it is, actually. I don't see how that's any of your business? I've already told you what my problem is so I'm going to bugger off now and meet my sister, if you don't mind?" And with that, I turned and swept out the door.

I barely got halfway down the corridor before I heard her heels clacking after me. "Hold on! I thought you were going to see Kacey, not your sister? Besides, I didn't even know you had a sister? Why do you need to talk to Kacey, anyway, and what has your mystery sister got to do with all of this?"

I paused mid-swagger. "You're really not going to give up on this, are you, Christine?" She stepped into my line of vision, a cheeky smirk on her face. "Nope, I'm really not." I felt a smile breaking out on my face. "Okay. I'll tell you everything in the car."

*Kacey POV*

I woke up slowly. My head was swimming and my thoughts were distorted. I groaned – my head was banging. "Kacey, sweetheart?" I felt a soft hand on mine and I opened my eyes blearily. "Do you want a drink?" It was Maggie. I coughed and nodded sleepily as she raised a glass with a straw to my lips. I drank thirstily, pulling the glass from her and sinking back into the pillows.

As I placed the glass on the bedside table a doctor walked in holding a clipboard. I gave Maggie a questioning look, but she was studying the doctor. He pulled a chair over beside Maggie and sat down. "Now, Miss Budgen. We've gotten the results from Miss Barry's scans right here." I frowned. He was talking about me as though I wasn't even there – but I was curious as to what was going on so I didn't mention it.

"It appears that the young lass has epilepsy – which is a neurological disorder. Electrical impulses in the brain cause seizures, and that's what caused her seizure earlier. But there's nothing in her medical history to suggest that this is inherited – so we think you're right. We do believe that this is a side effect to drug abuse."

"Whoa, WHAT?!" I sat up, immediately alert. "I don't do drugs! You must be crazy! Honestly, Maggie!"

Maggie placed a calming hand on my arm. "Kacey, you've been out of it for nearly three hours. I found a load of syringes under your bed. They found traces of mephedrone in your nose, too. I'm sorry; sweetie, but you really need help."

I started laughing – a little crazily, I'll admit. "They're lying! You're lying! I sat up and kicked the blanket off, tearing the IV lead out of my arm. Fluid began dripping steadily onto the floor as I swung my legs over the side of my bed. The doctor darted forwards as I did so. My legs immediately gave way and I fell straight into his arms.

He lifted me clean off the floor and I screamed in protest; trying to kick him where it hurt. "NO! Get OFF me! Let me go home!" We fought for a few seconds and I kept screaming. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maggie duck out of the cubicle, only to return moments later with two nurses in tow.

What happened next was a blur. One of the nurses and the doctor managed to sit me on the bed, and I heard cupboard doors banging open and closed. "We need to sedate her! Hurry up!" The next moment, hands were on my shoulders, rolling me gently onto my side. I watched wide-eyed and fearful as a young nurse prepared a syringe.

"_Wait! Don't sedate her! Police's orders!"_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm feeling a lot happier now, I'd like to thank you all for the support and offers of little chats you've given me since my nana passed. It means so much – you're honestly some of the best friends I've ever had and I don't even know who most of you are in real life. Also, I've noticed I rarely ever say thanks for reviews which makes me look like such a dick – so a big thank you for those as well. (I smile like an idiot every time I get one; what can I say, my life is sad) Anyways, this chapter is starting to take the story in a new turn, I hope….**

***Kacey POV***

A tall, slim woman in a police uniform came bounding into the room, shouting at the top of her lungs. All the nurses moved away from my bed obediently, but the doctor stayed put. He kept his hands firmly planted on my shoulders so I couldn't sit up from the bed. I barely noticed, though. Who was this policewoman, and what sort of connection did she have to me?

I watched curiously as she stepped towards the bed, taking a small leather wallet from her trouser pocket. She opened it and showed it to the buggersome doctor. I assumed it must have been some sort of ID, because he nodded resignedly, quietly leaving with his nurses.

Finally, she turned her attention towards me. She had pale skin, and thick chocolate coloured hair which was tied in a short ponytail at the nape of her neck. She smiled and held out her hand for me to shake. "Hello, I'm DS Mackenzie, but you can call me Sam. You must be...Kacey?" I grinned and sat up, taking her hand eagerly.

"Yeah, I'm Kacey."

"Ok, Kacey. Well, a couple of days ago my sister Nikki Boston came to see me in my office at the police station. I think you know her?"

I nodded cautiously.

" She told me about how you'd sent her a text earlier that evening asking to meet up. She gave me a lunchbox too, filled with little white flakes that had gotten onto her sleeve when you grabbed her arm. She asked me to run some tests on the powder. I did, and it looks like cocaine."

Maggie looked a little confused through this whole exchange, and she jumped in when Sam paused for breath. "Kacey?! How the hell do you have Nikki's phone number?" Her eyes were narrowed her demeanour had changed in seconds – from kind and worried to completely bat-shit crazy.

I swallowed nervously. _Fuck. _"Uhm, well-"

Sam cut me off. "Miss Budgen, would you mind taking a seat outside by the nurses' station? Kacey and I need to discuss this in private."

Maggie glared at Sam, clearly put out, but she did as she was asked. I watched as her ginger head disappeared between the curtain and began to chew on my thumbnail – a sure sign I was growing nervous. Sam came and sat down on the bed beside me. She pulled my hand from my mouth gently. "My wife would go crazy if she saw you doing that."

I looked up at her curiously. "Wife?"

Sam nodded, smiling. "Yes, wife. Her name is Catherine Mackenzie, but everyone calls her Cat. We got married three years ago."

"Oh….that's nice." I looked down at the floor, slightly uncomfortable. She was the first girl I'd ever met who was interested in girls – apart from Zoe, of course. I swallowed and rubbed my eyes. _Forget about the little tart, Kacey. She fucked everything up for you, remember?_ Sam put her hand on my shoulder.

"Kacey, are you okay?" I nodded, shrugging her hand off. "Course, why wouldn't I be?" I tried to hide the tremor in my voice. If I hadn't managed to, Sam certainly didn't acknowledge it. "Ok. Well, we need to focus on the matter at hand, alright?" She didn't wait for an answer, instead jumping straight to her next question.

"Why are you abusing yourself with Class A drugs?"

I stiffened. I hadn't been expecting _that. _Sam had spoken harshly, and I was instantly on guard. She realised her error immediately though when I began to turn away, and she started to apologize profoundly.

"Oh, God, Kacey…I'm sorry. Look, you can speak to me and trust me alright? I have a pretty good idea of how you're feeling – someone close to me used to harm themselves with drugs. I understand how difficult it can be to talk about this. Take your time."

I turned back. Sam smiled softly, and I could tell she was sincere. She put her hand on mine and squeezed it gently. I bit down hard on my lip as the tears I'd been holding in for so long began to well up in my eyes.

WRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWR WRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWR

*Nikki POV*

Christine and I walked to my car in silence. I never thought I'd say this, but the silence was a comfortable silence and I was enjoying her company. I recapped the events of the last forty-eight hours. I'd discovered a shocking truth about a girl who had once been one of my star pupils, one of my successes. 15 months can change a person. It doesn't depend on your mind-set, your lifestyle, the way people treat you. It depends on the people who have failed you, and who you trust. These people can be one and the same. These people can, and usually are, the reason you change.

I said this to Christine as I rummaged through my rucksack. She considered it thoughtfully and I unlocked my Mitsubishi Warrior, awaiting her response. It didn't come until five minutes into the journey.

"I think you're right. 15 months can change a person. But so can 15 years. A lifetime can too. The prime factor in the changing of a person is how they've been let down – and who, has let them down."

She looked at me, a silent question. Who changed? I felt her gaze burning into my shoulder but I didn't move mine from the road ahead. Instead I began to speak.

"You know who's changed, Christine. Me. Kacey. Hell – maybe even you. But at the moment, we don't matter. I know I've had a hard time recently, and I'm not saying your days have been any less shit. Kacey is more important though. I abandoned her at a very difficult time in her life. Her football mentor had just died – and I was teaching her a new sport. She was starting to recover, getting better, starting to open up to me. Perhaps, she was getting a little _too_ better. She began to forget about Tom, and Dynasty informed me casually that she was no longer following the football leagues. I wasn't worried about that. People lose interest in sports all the time. Her total dismissal of Tom during our little 'chats' was starting to scare me. I decided to bring it up on one of her good days - you know what I mean, right? Her reaction terrified me. It was awful. It was the reason I left…."

I paused, swallowing.

"_And I think it's the reason she's started to abuse herself with drugs."_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay, guys. Here's what you've been waiting for. Please review – it's taken me nearly a month to perfect this! **I've altered the 'Eve' storyline. In this, Nikki and Steve were trying desperately for kids.****

*Nikki POV*

Christine exploded. She was absolutely furious.

"For God's sake, Nikki, how long have you known about this? When were you thinking of telling me?"

I flinched, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I'm telling you now, aren't I?! Yesterday evening I got a text from somebody asking to meet at the playground by the sea-front. It was Kacey. How she got my number, I don't know, but while we were there she got a strange white powder all over my wrist. After I got home, I shook it into a box and took it to the police station so my sister could run some tests on it. I just got a text now saying they were positive, and that's why we're going to A&E – to meet her!"

As I spoke I pulled into the car park of the local hospital and leapt out the car. Christine did the same and she ran round the side to meet me.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling, okay? I was just panicking. Anyone would have done that in my position."

I shrugged, stony faced, and walked into the hospital, heading for the Nurses' station. Christine followed behind me, and before I'd covered much ground I found myself face-to-face with Maggie. She looked at me blankly for a second, before she snapped into motion.

"Nikki? What are you doing here? Christine-?"

I held a hand up to silence her.

"We're here to see Kacey – we know about the drug abuse. I notified the police about my suspicions; and my sister's in the police force so I know everything that's going on in this case. Can you show me where she is?"

Maggie nodded and pointed a shaking finger in the direction of a cubicle. The curtain had been drawn around it. I thanked her and Christine and I hurried over. I placed my hand on the curtain, preparing to tear it open, but I stopped short when I heard sobbing.

WRWRWRWRWRWRWRRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRWRW RWRWRWRWRWRWR

*Kacey POV*

I stared down at my hands, gathering my thoughts before I spoke. I barely knew what to say – my mind was a huge, jumbled mess – but it's always best to start at the beginning, right? So that's what I did.

"It was nearly a year and a half ago when I broke up with my first girlfriend. Her name was Zoe, and she was into BMX's, just like me. I was absolutely besotted with her. I told her everything that I was going through, about how my brother Barry wouldn't talk to me at all since I started dating her, and how my sister Dynasty kept her distance too. I cried on Zoe's shoulder when I got to the part about how mum told me I was a disgrace and a freak, and she comforted me; saying that they didn't matter and that she'd always love me. The next day, though, everybody at school knew what mum said. Everyone knew my family hated me. Zoe told them – she'd been using me, she never loved me at all. That weekend my mum, Dynasty and Barry upped and left while I was boxing with Miss Boston. I haven't heard anything from them since."

My voice broke and soon enough, my sentences were punctuated with sobs. Sam pulled me tight into an embrace much like Zoe had done all those months ago, and it just made me cry even harder. She placed a crumpled tissue into my hand and I sat up, scrubbing my eyes and my nose. I looked up when I heard someone pulling on the curtain that surrounded the cubicle, and in stepped Miss Boston and Miss Mulgrew.

Sam gave my hand a final squeeze and I vaguely heard her mutter "I'll be waiting just outside." Miss Boston nodded silently, staring at me intensely. I looked down at the tissue in my hands and began to shred it. In those next few seconds Miss Boston crossed the tiny room and knelt down in front of me so I had to look at her. She put her hand on my leg and said the last thing I was expecting.

"Please don't be angry."

I frowned, confused.

"I don't understand what you mean?"

Miss Boston sighed and stood up, before taking a seat in one of the nasty plastic chairs. Miss Mulgrew sat down next to her. She looked puzzled, too.

"Do you remember my daughter, Eve?"

I nodded. What did she have to do with all this?

"Well, Eve was conceived through IVF. I had to go through quite a few rounds – and as many miscarriages – before Steve and I were blessed with her. We had to divorce, though, shortly after. I couldn't cope, and Steve didn't want his little girl to have a distant mum. So she ended up with no mum. "

Miss Boston rubbed her nose and swallowed a few times before she went on.

"The divorce settlement though, said I could have the frozen embryos left over from our IVF. I didn't want to keep them, because I believed I was a terrible mother. Instead, I donated them to the Snowflake Adoption Agency. That's where infertile parents can adopt other mother's donated embryos in order to have children. Are you following this?"

She leaned forwards and folded her arms on her legs.

"Sam has connections to the people who run Snowflakes. I always knew who my embryos went to. There were three married couples, and a single mother with two kids who she'd adopted through the agency a few years before. All the couples lost their children. The single mother didn't…."

Miss Boston trailed off, staring at the floor.

"Miss?" I encouraged her gently to keep speaking. She looked up at me. Her eyes were iced with tears and her hands were shaking.

"_Kacey…the single mother's name was Carol Barry."_


	11. Authors Note 2

**Don't worry peeps, I don't need to delete my account :') Ignore that last note, I'll delete it & this one in the morning :D**


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